Panganay

Being a “panganay” is so hard.

We always have the biggest and heaviest role in the family. We are expected to be the “breadwinner”. We should be the “perfect” example to our younger siblings. We need to be “cautious” of our words and actions. We should be “polite” all the time. As if it’s a sin for us to be seen as a weak person. We should never let our emotions out. We should not disappoint anyone.

But, not all the times we have the strength to go every single day. We do have our own share of struggles. We cry at night in our own room unable to share to anyone our feelings. We reprimanded our own selves when things get out of hand (especially when it comes to our siblings and parents). We always keep in our selves the things that hurt and pain us. We do not speak of our struggle.

Why am I saying these things? Because I want to be the voice of those “panganay” who are struggling right now for their family; to those people who are working hard day and night.

A simple “hello, kumusta?” Or “okay ka lang?” can make our day. Because those simple words will remind us that we have a reason to keep going and they are always in our back to support us. It reminds us that we are not alone in our fight.

We always say this to our selves “Kapag may kailangan ako, kanino ako pwedeng tumakbo?” And it hurts that nothing in our mind can we found comfort while struggling. A simple “thank you” can lift up a part of the burden we are carrying. So, please let your “panganay” be reminded that you are there for a support. They needed it badly.

Credit to relastionself

Marriage

I’m not a basher but a preacher. This is the effect of unhappy and broken marriages. The next generation will not believe in it anymore specially our children. This man grew up with “separations” all around him specially his own parents. Due to the disappointments he saw and experienced, to him marriage is nothing but a piece of paper. Something completely unneccesary. One of the reasons he mentioned is for easy escape in case you don’t like each other anymore in the future. If someone has a marriage exit plan, his/her marriage will surely fail. Even considering his background, he is still wrong of course. Marriage is not just a piece of paper. It is invented and designed by God. It is a vow you make to the Lord, to your spouse, to the church, and to your family and friends that you will love each other no matter what. It is a vow! Do we get that? Your birth certificate is not only a paper. It is a story and a history of how you came into being and who you are as a person. A lasting marriage and a marriage certificate is not only a paper. It is a proof that you understand true love. True love is not displayed when you still like each other. True love is displayed when you don’t like each other anymore but you still choose to stay and do life together happily because you made a “vow” on your wedding day. You cannot make a vow without a marriage! The true measure of a man is not how many women he slept with but how many vows he kept. Marriage is way more than the marriage certificate or benefits. But entering the marriage covenant is a public demonstration of your private intentions. If you truly love the person, why will you not commit your entire life to him/her? If you truly love your children, why will you not want to give them a more secure and stable home by getting married? If you truly love your family, why will you not give them the legal protection that comes from marriage? If you are truly a follower of God, why dis-agree on His plan and design for marriage?
Satan is slowly winning on his plan to destroy the community by destroying the family. He is slowly turning our minds away from the biblical foundations to our own opinions. As Christians, we don’t just stand and watch. We fight! We fight by showing to the world the beauty, joy, stability, and grace of marriage. We fight by raising up children who will believe in marriage in the same way that we do. We fight by welcoming healthy and helpful discussions about marriage. We fight by spreading the truth. We fight on our knees. I am praying and hoping that one day I will see this man on a suit and a tie waiting for his bride on his wedding day. I hope he will show he is a real man by changing his mind about marriage for the sake of the woman and child that he claims he truly love. That’s my prayer for all men. To all who decided to get married, I am proud of you!

Disclaimer:
Photo from Tea Pa More fb page

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