OFWS ARE BREADWINNERS, BUT SOME FAMILY MEMBERS WANT THE BAKERY?

OFWS ARE BREADWINNERS, BUT SOME FAMILY MEMBERS WANT THE BAKERY?

An OFW once shared with me these stories:

▪️ A brother asking for extra money for a “business”
▪️ A cousin asking money for her niece’ birthday bash

The OFW asked me, “Is it an act of humility to provide for these requests, even if it’s hard to do so?”

Maybe.

But at the same time, giving in to these non-important requests is sending a wrong message. They would think that it’s okay and won’t feel that money is a problem for you. Sooner or later it will become a habit.

So how to deal with it? Two things: TS (“Ti-is”)

1️⃣ T for TOUGH LOVE

If you are married with kids, your spouse and your own children are your priority. It is not your role to provide for the wants, and even the needs of your relatives. But, as embedded on our culture, we do this out of love.

But giving is not the only way to show love.

Say no. Not giving them everything doesn’t mean you love them less. Loving does not mean you give all they want. You wake them up from the toxic mentality. You need to let them realize that you have a family of your own to feed. If they feel bad, take it, even if it pinches your heart too. That’s the only way to help them stand on their own feet. That’s what TOUGH LOVE means – you teach them how to become responsible.

2️⃣S for SELF CARE

OFWs often neglect caring for themselves because they are too busy taking care also of the extended family – ate, kuya, pinsan, pamangkin, tito and tita, etc.

Kumusta naman ang sarili mong pangarap?

We don’t realize, as we work diligently abroad, we could already be in a position to reach our dreams. But when giving becomes an obligation, we deprive ourselves of that opportunity to work on our personal goals. Because the finances that we could have invested in ourselves go to the family back home instead.

Giving is a noble act, a very selfless gesture – especially when done with joy and a cheerful heart. But if it’s becoming a burden and not out of the overflow of the heart anymore, we have a problem.

Don’t wait for the day that what’s left on your plate are just breadcrumbs because you gave them the bakery.

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Ccto