right guy?

There’s more to life than waiting for him. Waiting for him to call, to say what he feels about you, to put you in his priority list.

I’ve always believed that when you’re with the right guy, you will get a sense of security. Like even though time and space separate the two of you temporarily, he will not do anything that will make you doubt. He won’t look the other way. Not once he will try to make you jealous.

Because love is not a silly game.

Nobody has to keep a scoreboard and see who’s winning. The only thing a guy should be proving is his loyalty — plain and simple.

But when he breaks your trust and he’s not expressly sorry about it, then it’s time that you listen to your gut.

There’s more to life than worrying about how he treats you. The earth is big and you have other places to be. You have so many things to chase, sunsets to witness, days to live.

And you shouldn’t settle for less than what you deserve.

In time, you’ll find a better guy. And trust me, he’ll come into your life sooner than you expect.

Written by: Angelo Caerlang

the guy who stopped choosing her

To the guy who stopped choosing her,

You stopped choosing her, and she can feel it. You don’t think she knows, but she does. You don’t think she could tell? How could she not know? How could she not notice that you’re more detached now? How could she not notice that you’re not as excited around her? How could she not notice that you don’t love her as much as you did before? Sure, everyone has their days where they feel disconnected and out of touch with themselves so she can understand that you’re not gonna express how much you love her every single day, but when you completely stop reassuring her of what she means to you, that tells her you just don’t care enough anymore. You don’t care enough to appreciate her laughter, her beauty, her playfulness, her sensuality, her personality, and her love when she’s at her best like you used to. Instead, you’re more focused on her anger, her insecurities, her flaws, her bitterness, her immaturity, and her hatred when those things showed themselves when she’s at her worst. Instead of working with her, you only chose to see more of her at her worst and showed her your worst as well and in doing so, cause you two to drift apart. You focused more on what you disliked about her than what you adored about her, which made you despise her, which made you push her away, which made you abandon her. The worst part about all of this is, you stopped choosing her and you’re still with her, which gives her hope that things will fall back into place one day. Right now, she’s reading this and realizing that it won’t, because you don’t want to choose her anymore.

Don’t be with a guy who doesn’t choose you every day.

she stills love you

Here’s something I want you to know today: you are doing just fine. I get how easy it is to compare yourself to others, to look at someone’s life over the internet and wonder why they seem like they have it all together.
But please understand that your journey is unique. It’s different. Your story is already beautiful on its own. And you have the power to make it even more beautiful.

I want you to know that you’re not alone on this road you’re taking. There are people out there who share the same doubts and fears and hopes and dreams with you.

Because we’re all connected in many ways. Despite our differences, at some point, we all feel the same emotion, we all share the same thought. And that’s something worth celebrating as a human being.

So please, whatever you’re going through right now, I hope you remember that it will pass. You will grow, you will change, you will wake up one day not measuring yourself up against other people. In time, your situation will get better and you will be more accepting of your circumstances. And once you find the right people, I swear you will finally feel like you belong.

You will finally feel at home.

for you

Here’s something I want you to know today: you are doing just fine. I get how easy it is to compare yourself to others, to look at someone’s life over the internet and wonder why they seem like they have it all together.
But please understand that your journey is unique. It’s different. Your story is already beautiful on its own. And you have the power to make it even more beautiful.

I want you to know that you’re not alone on this road you’re taking. There are people out there who share the same doubts and fears and hopes and dreams with you.

Because we’re all connected in many ways. Despite our differences, at some point, we all feel the same emotion, we all share the same thought. And that’s something worth celebrating as a human being.

So please, whatever you’re going through right now, I hope you remember that it will pass. You will grow, you will change, you will wake up one day not measuring yourself up against other people. In time, your situation will get better and you will be more accepting of your circumstances. And once you find the right people, I swear you will finally feel like you belong.

You will finally feel at home.

Never Underestimate A Woman’s Ability To Find Things Out

The truth is that she’s eventually going to find out the truth, and you should never underestimate her ability to eventually find things out. Trust and honesty are always going to be important aspects of any kind of relationship. And that’s why you can’t afford to be making a fool out of your girl. If you want to keep her in your life; if you know what’s good for you, then you’re always going to stay honest and true with her. Because at the end of the day, a relationship without trust and honesty is a dysfunctional one.

And you’re just never going to be able to make things work if the both of you can’t trust one another. You’re never going to be able to find peace in your relationship if you are constantly lying to one another. And don’t think that you’re looking out for yourself by lying to her. Because she’s always going to find out. The truth always comes out eventually. And you will be in even bigger trouble for lying to her than just coming straight out with the truth in the first place.

Here’s the thing. Only the strongest men are capable of coming to terms with the truth. Only the strongest men are brave enough to actually be bearers and upholders of truth in a relationship. The cowardly men; the immature ones who are afraid of accepting responsibility for their faults; these are the ones who resort to lies. And a lot of times, these serial and pathological liars are the ones who bring a lot of toxicity and dysfunction into a relationship. Usually, it’s these men who are always messing everything up.

Usually, it’s these types of men who are virtually incapable of sustaining long-lasting relationships with women because of their dishonesty and immaturity. Remember that in any kind of relationship, you always need to be mature in order for you to have the temperance to make things work. But one of the biggest signs of immaturity in a relationship is just flat out dishonesty. And if you think that you are going to be able to get away with your lies; if you think that you are going to be able to make your relationship work even though you’re a serial liar, then you have another thing coming to you. You can’t keep on lying to your woman if you expect to make your love affair work. In fact, dishonesty has a tendency to really drive out love in a relationship. And the more you lie to her, the more you are creating distance between the two of you.

And don’t underestimate the strength and bravery of a woman. You might think that it’s okay for you to manipulate and abuse her all you want. You might think that it’s okay for you to deceive her and conceal the truth from her. You might think that you are going to be able to keep up your terrible treatment of her for as long as you want. But that’s not the case. Sure, she might seem gullible and foolish at first. But that’s only because of her love for you. She’s going to turn a blind eye to these manipulative tactics because she loves you. But that love isn’t always going to last.

The more that you continue to lie to her, the more she’s going to distrust you. And the more she distrusts you, the less she’s going to love you. And when there is no love, that’s when her vision will become as clear as day. That’s when she’ll realize just how terrible a human being you really are. That’s when she will realize that you have a horrible soul and a dark heart that isn’t worth loving. If you keep on lying to her, that’s when she’s eventually going to start fighting back. She’s going to stand up for herself. She’s going to demand to be treated better. She’s going to call you out on your lies and she’s going to force you to make a change. And if you refuse to do so, then she’s going to leave you. You’re going to lose her and there won’t be anything you can do about it. Because trust is a lot like glass – once it’s broken, it can never really be the same.

So always be working hard for the trust that she has to give. Always work hard to earn her trust by always staying true to her. Respect her enough to know that she is always worthy of the truth. Respect her enough to always come clean about who you are, what you do, and how you feel. Because if you can’t be honest with her, then you can’t be deserving of her love.

To The Person Who Emotionally Killed Me

I want you to imagine this specific situation: picture a woman lying down on her bad ate at night; she’s desperately trying to keep her tears from falling because she doesn’t want to be that cliché weak girl who cries herself to sleep. She’s trying so desperately to think of something else; to take her mind off of the pain that she’s feeling in that moment. But when her mind refuses to just think of anything, she tries to accept these uncomfortable thoughts. She tries to rationalize everything that she’s just been through. She’s trying to make sense of her situation. She’s trying to gain closure so that she can move on from this breakup that has been like a living hell for her.

Now, I want you to picture my face on that woman. Because that’s exactly what I was doing not too long ago. That was me. I was on my bed – and that wasn’t just one night. That was a series of countless sleepless nights that I spent awake thinking about us; thinking about you. I was the woman who was feeling emotionally distraught and downtrodden. I was the woman who was emotionally broken. I had to endure so many months of you making me feel worthless and undervalued.

I had to endure so many months of you treating me like absolute crap. I had to endure so many months of you just not giving me the love, security, affection, care, and consistency that I needed from you to feel safe. I had to endure so many months of you taking me for granted even when I was ready to just give you everything I had.

But despite all of that, I just want to let you know that I carry no hatred in my heart. Instead, I carry gratitude. At this moment of writing, I am no longer angry. I am no longer upset. I am no longer mad or bitter. I want you to know that at this moment, I am free from the emotional hold that you used to have over me. At this moment, I only have one thing for what you were to me: gratitude. I want to thank you; not for everything that you did to me, but for all the lessons that I had to force myself to learn when I was with you.

After having to endure so many months of you just manipulating and abusing me until I had nothing left to give, I came to the realization that none of it was my fault. I learned that the problem wasn’t with me after all; but rather, it was all with you. You were the toxic one between the two of us. You were the problematic one. You were the one who had so many issues and demons that just needed addressing. You were the one who wasn’t right in the head. I am at a point in my life wherein I am slowly emerging back into the light after being stuck for so long in the dark hole that you put me in. I am now free of the shackles and chains that you bound me to. I am now constantly reminding myself every day of how I am far from the woman who you saw me as; and that I always deserve the best in life.

I now know that I am enough; that I am deserving of the best things that life has to offer. And that’s all because of you. So, that’s why in spite of it all; in spite of everything that you and I have been through, I am thankful.

It’s because of you that I know to ALWAYS demand for more; that I always need to be fighting for what I want; that I should never settle for anything less than I deserve. I now know that I deserve someone who is never going to lie to me; someone who isn’t going to manipulate me with deceit and dishonesty. I now know that I deserve someone who is always going to show appreciation and gratitude for everything that I do in the relationship.

I now know that I deserve to be with someone who isn’t going to break my heart on a daily basis; someone who is going to do whatever it takes to take care of me. I now know that I deserve to be with someone who is always going to prioritize my sense of happiness and well-being; someone who doesn’t feed into my insecurities and fears. I now know that I am deserving of someone who will never capitalize on my weaknesses. I know that I deserve someone who is going to bring out the best in me; someone who makes me stronger.

I now know, because of you, that I deserve to be with someone who loves me for me.

What To Do Instead Of Comparing Yourself To Them

Understand that this is your journey and it’s completely different from them. Your timeline is unique. You might not have all the desires of your heart right now, but soon you’ll have them too. For now, just be patient.

Realize that the time you’re wasting looking into other people’s lives is the time you should be using in making your life a better one.

Figure out what you like to do in this world and pour all your energy and attention in it. Let it inspire you to become a better person. Let it guide you in mastering your craft.

Go out and see the world. You don’t have to be in expensive place. Just step a foot outside your comfort zone and appreciate the beauty of your surroundings.

Reach out to a family member or old friend you haven’t talked to in a long time. You will be surprised to learn new information about the people that you care about.

Binge-watch a TV show or movies that are aligned to your interest. Treat yourself for a stress-free day. Relax and just breathe.

Write all your thoughts and feelings and recognize that they’re valid. That you’re allowed to have them. And that You’re allowed to express them.

Love yourself. It’s not a selfish act, trust me. Because if you think about it, the only person that you have and the only person who can truly help you is you. It’s time to give yourself what you deserve.

Walk away from anything and anyone that’s dragging you down. The peace that resides you is so important and you shouldn’t spend your life worrying about the things that are giving you so much heaviness. It’s okay to leave. It’s okay to want to have a different situation.

Know that you’re doing okay. And that you’re not behind everyone else. The truth is, nobody has it all figured out. We’re all searching. We’re all struggling. We’re all trying to make it through. Where you are right now is where you’re supposed to be in this given period of time.

effort makes the relationship works

When you stop showing effort to a girl, that’s when she’ll start to think that you’re not choosing her anymore.

That’s when she’ll be convinced that your heart’s not in it anymore, and that’s when she’ll believe that you aren’t falling in love with her every day anymore because effort is everything to a girl. Whether you’ve been with her for 2 months or 2 years, effort is something that she’s always going to expect to see because it’s the kind of reassurance she needs for her to continue making an effort of her own because she can’t be only one trying, she can’t be the only one wanting to make it work, and she can’t be the only one giving it her all. As a man, you should always be chasing her and making her feel like she’s everything to you and no, that doesn’t mean you always have to make some grand gesture to show her that you care, but it’s the little things that win her over. Without effort, it just makes her feel like you’re bored with her, she’s no longer making you happy, and she’s just not good enough for you and a girl can only feel that way for so long until she feels like you’re not worth the effort anymore. Maybe it’s because she would make such an effort to be with you and she would like to believe that you’d do the same for her, but if you really did care about her, making an effort should be something that’s natural and it shouldn’t be difficult so if it is, then don’t be surprised if that’s how you’re going to lose her and once you do, it would take even more of an effort to get her back.

talk to me

Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the letter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time. A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other, crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement. The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t stop for days. It’s two years later. Your teachers all quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you.

To the guy who stopped choosing her

You stopped choosing her, and she can feel it. You don’t think she knows, but she does. You don’t think she could tell? How could she not know? How could she not notice that you’re more detached now? How could she not notice that you’re not as excited around her? How could she not notice that you don’t love her as much as you did before? Sure, everyone has their days where they feel disconnected and out of touch with themselves so she can understand that you’re not gonna express how much you love her every single day, but when you completely stop reassuring her of what she means to you, that tells her you just don’t care enough anymore. You don’t care enough to appreciate her laughter, her beauty, her playfulness, her sensuality, her personality, and her love when she’s at her best like you used to. Instead, you’re more focused on her anger, her insecurities, her flaws, her bitterness, her immaturity, and her hatred when those things showed themselves when she’s at her worst. Instead of working with her, you only chose to see more of her at her worst and showed her your worst as well and in doing so, cause you two to drift apart. You focused more on what you disliked about her than what you adored about her, which made you despise her, which made you push her away, which made you abandon her. The worst part about all of this is, you stopped choosing her and you’re still with her, which gives her hope that things will fall back into place one day. Right now, she’s reading this and realizing that it won’t, because you don’t want to choose her anymore.

Don’t be with a guy who doesn’t choose you every day.