The Kind Of Love That You Want Most In This World Will Always Be The Hardest To Get

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 You have to understand that sometimes, not getting what you want is exactly the kind of trial that you need.
 People have just got to get it into their minds as early as now that love is never going to be easy. It was never designed to be easy and no one is promising it to be easy. The kind of love that we all so desperately crave for is always going to require substantial effort, hard work, commitment, dedication, and resilience. If we fail to present ourselves on all of these fronts, then we will never succeed in gaining the love that we think we deserve. Real love is always going to force us to spend many sleepless nights just tossing and turning; trying to think about how we can preserve the love that’s been entrusted to us. True love isn’t always going to be served on a golden plate. It’s not something that you’re necessarily going to knock out of the park right away. It’s not a shot you can expect to make on your first attempt and you really have to come to terms with that fact. You are going to get tired and frustrated. You are going to question all of your efforts. There will be a point where you will just want to give up, but you have to persist. You are going to have a few stumbles on your pursuit for true love, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get back up every time you fall down. You are going to have your hope waiver every now and then, but you shouldn’t lose it completely. Never lose hope in your fight for true love.
 You have to understand that sometimes, not getting what you want is exactly the kind of trial that you need. Sometimes, these moments of failure are actually necessary processes that you need to put yourself through to become a better person. Sometimes, a lost love is what you need to go through on your journey towards finding the love that is actually meant for you. You have to understand that the best things in life never come easily or quickly. You have to be patient. You have to be resilient. The best love is out there, but it isn’t going to come before its time. And you can’t afford to rush it. You can’t fast-forward anything. And once you are mature enough to understand why it’s important to wait for the love that you truly want, you will gain a better appreciation for that love once it actually enters your life. When you go through tough trials and false loves, you gain a more profound perspective and understanding of what it really means to wait for the love that’s right for you. These experiences will humble you and reveal to you just how vulnerable you really are – and how only true love can make you feel as close to perfect as you possibly ever could. True love isn’t about getting it right all the time. It’s about being humble enough to accept that you are a flawed individual; and also having the audacity to actually become a better person despite your flaws.
 You have to learn that you can’t be obsessive in your pursuit of love because that is only going to drive you nuts in the long run. Obsession will impair your senses and will cloud your judgment. You can’t let obsession rule over your life because you will end up making unsound rationalizations left and right. You always have to make sure to listen to your heart but also to your mind. You have to be able to balance between acting on your emotions and on your own logic. You have to listen to your intuition but you also have to keep yourself informed. You can’t let obsession dictate your pursuit for love because you will only end up suffocating yourself and the people around you. Obsession is going to push you over the edge whenever you don’t get what you want. Obsession is going to keep you from being patient and understanding in your journey to finding real love. As much as you want for love to enter your life right away, you can’t fall into desperation. You have to let love go through its natural course before it makes its way to you.

partners

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 Try to remember that your partner might need more explanation for your thought process than you think is necessary, especially if it’s a “negative” thought.

“I disagree with you”, “I disagree with you, but I’m not angry at you, and I’m not going to yell at you for not agreeing with me.”

“I’m hurt by what you did”, “I’m hurt by what you did, but I don’t hate you, and I don’t think you’re a bad person. I just want to discuss it.”

“I’m frustrated”, “I’m frustrated, but it doesn’t mean I don’t care about you.”

What feels obvious to you–the underlying asumption that of course you still love this person, of course this is just a single feeling–is not obvious to someone who has been trained to flinch at every criticism. Take the time to explain your feelings and their meanings to ease both your fears.

love yourself

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 This year I learned that pain is inevitable. Loved ones will be lost whether it be death or simply growing apart. People will disappoint you and no matter how much you may love them, sometimes you need to walk away for yourself. It’s commendable to plan for the future and to visualize the things you want in life. Most likely none of it will happen and life will take you on a journey you never planned for. The number one lesson I have learned this year though is, No matter how unbearable the pain may be, love conquers everything and it can be found in the most unexpected places. We just have to be willing to invite it in and give it back. To cherish those who continue to love us even when we feel we don’t deserve it. That kind of love is hard to find and it will leave if it is not nourished, especially the love we need for ourselves.

this is what true love is all about

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 A Good Relationship is when two people accept each other’s past, support each other’s present, and love each other enough to encourage each other’s future. So don’t rush love. Find a partner who encourages you to grow, who won’t cling to you, who will let you go out into the world and trust that you will come back. This is what true love is all about.

rp

what to do when you’ve change your evils ways and no one cares

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 “If you feel like no one cares about you, think again. Look in the mirror because the person you see, needs you more than anyone else.” ~Anonymous

 Recently a friend reached out to me and told me that personally they had made some positive changes in their life and they were feeling amazing. I replied with “That’s great!” and “I’m so proud of you!” They were consciously making efforts to change the current trajectory of their life. They eliminated the need to judge others. They replaced negative thoughts with positive ones. They spoke to themselves kindly and when they felt the need to criticize themselves they acknowledged it.

They felt that these actions had affected them tremendously and in return they were happy. They felt lighter. But they felt that their happiness had caused those closest to them to be spiteful. They felt that when they began to evolve their inner circle began to despise them. So my friend came to me and asked why does this happen?

The need to have others acknowledge the new you can be overwhelming. You seek to have them remove previous labels that you feel they have placed on you. You seek their validation. You feel that their encouragement will empower you to continue.

Well the truth is it may take a while to notice. While other times people will not admit that they notice any change. And than there are people who will never change their perception of you, no matter what you do. What you need to do is remind yourself why you started in the first place.

Superficially, what you are seeking is a quick fix. Instant gratification to feed you ego. But what you truly desire is inside you. You don’t need to convince others that you have changed. Consider all of the time you’re wasting chasing acceptance from others. The only opinion that matters is that of your own. Take a step back, breathe it all in and remind yourself that you are capable of change. You are no longer your old label. Today you are powerful. Strong. Passionate. Resilient. And worthy. You are worthy.

But if you are still stuck on your journey here a few more reminders…

People can be Selfish

It’s true. We don’t mean to be. But it happens. We are all busy and hustling away on our own path. So when we have an opportunity to stop and look at those who are closest to us we only notice the big external changes. This happens because we are so busy on our own journey that we miss what may be happening on someone else’s. Keep shining your light and all of the right people will see the changes that you have made.

Change can be Deceptive

This is twofold. You may have actively changed the way you speak to yourself, read a couple of self-help books or even taken a course on meditation but the truth is you really haven’t changed. The change that you see could be in your mind. Take a step back and look deeply at your actions. You may have acquired the knowledge but there is a possibility that you haven’t applied it. This could happen to anyone. Here is why. It takes 21 days to change a habit. Don’t be hard on yourself. Simply remind yourself that you are attempting to change a habit that you have spent a lifetime building. It could take some time.

Secondly, remember that change frightens people. While you may have adjusted to changes that you have personally made you have to give others around you some extra time to adjust.

If after all of this you still feel that you are receiving the cold shoulder then it may be time to let go and start listening to the universe. Stop trying to mold people and situations into what you want them to be. Accept them for what they are. Move forward with the only thing that you can control, yourself. Let go of your need to be approved by others and you will find, that you, as you are, is the greatest gift.

things you will regret when you get old

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Before you read this page, make sure you save it and always look at it, just to remind yourself not to regret these things. Here are the 37 things you’ll regret when you’re old.

1. Not traveling when you had the chance.
Think we all have had this once in our life, thinking ‘I should have gone there or there’. Well as long as you live and able to travel, please do travel. Trust me it becomes a lot harder the older you get. If you think of excuses now, later you will have a family and need to pay the way for three-plus people instead just for yourself.

2. Not learning another language.
How many languages do you speak? There’s no excuse not to learn a new language, and you are never too old for this. You’ll kick yourself when you realize you took three years of language in high school and remember none of it.

3. Staying in yes those bad relationship(s).
How many of us seen this happen? No one who ever gets out of a bad relationship looks back without wishing they made the move sooner.

4. Not using any sunscreen or enough sunscreen.
Wrinkles, moles, and skin cancer can largely be avoided if you protect yourself. Actually, best anti-aging treatment is to use everyday sunscreen, even if it’s winter.

5. Missing the chance to see your favorite musicians.
“Nah, dude, I’ll catch Nirvana next time they come through town.” Facepalm. No, stop let artists, or musicians pass you, when you want to see them.

6. Being scared to do things.
Looking back you’ll think, What was I so afraid of?

7. Failing to make physical fitness a priority.
Too many of us spend the physical peak of our lives on the couch. When you hit 40, 50, 60, and beyond, you’ll dream of what you could have done.

8. Letting yourself be defined by gender roles.
Few things are as sad as an old person saying, “Well, it just wasn’t done back then.”

9. Not quitting a terrible job.
Look, you gotta pay the bills. But if you don’t make a plan to improve your situation, you might wake up one day having spent 40 years in hell. Yep we have written a lot articles about this one.

10. Not trying harder in school.

It’s not just that your grades play a role in determining where you end up in life. Eventually you’ll realize how neat it was to get to spend all day learning, and wish you’d paid more attention.

11. Not realizing how beautiful you were.
This part is the biggest part if you spend your time thinking you’re not beautiful, you will just regret it.Too many of us spend our youth unhappy with the way we look, but the reality is, that’s when we’re our most beautiful.

12. Being afraid to say “I love you.”
What can we lose? By telling someone we love them? Try to learn saying it more often.
When you’re old, you won’t care if your love wasn’t returned — only that you made it known how you felt.

13. Not listening to your parents’ advice.
Our parents have the best experiences, so every advice should be thought of. You don’t want to hear it when you’re young, but the infuriating truth is that most of what your parents say about life is true.

14. Spending your youth self-absorbed.
You’ll be embarrassed about it, frankly.

15. Caring too much about what other people think.
Why live life limited just because you are afraid of what other people will think?
In 20 years you won’t give a darn about any of those people you once worried so much about.

16. Supporting others’ dreams over your own.
Don’t forget about yourself. Supporting others is a beautiful thing, but not when it means you never get to shine.

17. Not moving on fast enough.
Enjoy life, when going through hard life try to focus on little things that makes you happy. Try to move on fast enough! Old people look back at the long periods spent picking themselves off the ground as nothing but wasted time.

18. Holding grudges, especially with those you love.
What’s the point of re-living the anger over and over?

19. Not standing up for yourself.
Old people don’t take sh*t from anyone. Neither should you.

20. Not volunteering enough.
OK, so you probably won’t regret not volunteering Hunger Games style, but nearing the end of one’s life without having helped to make the world a better place is a great source of sadness for many.

21. Neglecting your teeth.
Neglecting your teeth. What more can we say about it?
Brush. Floss. Get regular checkups. It will all seem so maddeningly easy when you have dentures.

22. Missing the chance to ask your grandparents questions before they die.
If you still see your grandparents, please appreciate it. Most of us realize too late what an awesome resource grandparents are. They can explain everything you’ll ever wonder about where you came from, but only if you ask them in time.

23. Working too much.
No one looks back from their deathbed and wishes they spent more time at the office, but they do wish they spent more time with family, friends, and hobbies.

24. Not learning how to cook one awesome meal.
Hello, what’s life without good food? Knowing one drool-worthy meal will make all those dinner parties and celebrations that much more special.

25. Not stopping enough to appreciate the moment.
For instant, stop taking to many pictures or even selfies at a moment. Try to enjoy and appreciate the moment. Young people are constantly on the go, but stopping to take it all in now and again is a good thing.

26. Failing to finish what you start.
Failing to finish what you start.
“I had big dreams of becoming a nurse. I even signed up for the classes, but then…”

27. Never mastering one awesome party trick.
You will go to hundreds, if not thousands, of parties in your life. Wouldn’t it be cool to be the life of them all?

28. Letting yourself be defined by cultural expectations.
Letting yourself be defined by cultural expectations.
Don’t let them tell you, “We don’t do that.”

29. Refusing to let friendships run their course.
People grow apart. Clinging to what was, instead of acknowledging that things have changed, can be a source of ongoing agitation and sadness.

30. Not playing with your kids enough.
When you’re old, you’ll realize your kid went from wanting to play with you to wanting you out of their room in the blink of an eye.

31. Never taking a big risk (especially in love).
Knowing that you took a leap of faith at least once — even if you fell flat on your face — will be a great comfort when you’re old.

32. Not taking the time to develop contacts and network.

Networking may seem like a bunch of crap when you’re young, but later on it becomes clear that it’s how so many jobs are won.

33. Worrying too much.
As Tom Petty sang, “Most things I worry about never happen anyway.”

34. Getting caught up in needless drama.
Who needs it?

35. Not spending enough time with loved ones.
Not spending enough time with loved ones.
Our time with our loved ones is finite. Make it count.

36. Never performing in front of others.
This isn’t a regret for everyone, but many elderly people wish they knew — just once — what it was like to stand in front of a crowd and show off their talents.

37. Not being grateful sooner.
It can be hard to see in the beginning, but eventually it becomes clear that every moment on this earth — from the mundane to the amazing — is a gift that we’re all so incredibly lucky to share.

I’ve change

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 Hindi na Ako ang Dating Ako

Ni: Eden Grace Sacapanio Aligato
Hindi na ako magiging gaya ng dati.

Oo hinding hindi na.

Hindi na dahil hindi na ako magpapakatanga pa sa iyo.

Hindi na ako si tanga na handang magadjust para sa iyo.

Hindi na ako yung babaeng handang magpasensya para sayo.

Hindi na ako yung gaya dati na handa kang samahan, damayan, at pahalagahan.

Yung handa kang pangitiin at pasayahin  sa panahon ng kalungkutan.

Oo hindi na kasi pagod na ako.

Pagod na ako at nasasaktan na ako.

Pagod na akong manitili sa tabi mo.

Sa tabi ng gaya mong bulag na hindi kayang makita ako.

Sa tabi ng kagaya mong iba naman ang nais.

Kaya naman pasensya na pero hindi ko na kayang magtiis.

Hindi narin ako yung number one fan mo.

Yung tipong sa bawat mahahalagang pangyayari sa buhay mo nariyan ako.

Oo nariyan ako pinagmamasdan ka habang nakangiti dahil ako’y masaya.

Masaya para sa iyo sa bawat mong tagumapay.

Hindi narin ako magiging taga mo.

Taga tabi ng pera mo, taga dala ng maliliit na gamit mo sa tuwing sasabak ka sa gulo.

Hindi narin ako yung laging aasahan mo.

Oo. Hindi na ako yung kukuhanan mo ng mga kailangan mo kasi nga diba yung nasa bag ko parang pag-aari mo?

Hindi na ako magiging gaya ng dati.

Oo hindi na. Nakakapagod na kasi.

Pagod na akong magmukhang parang wala lang.

Pagod na akong magmukhang manhid sa harap nila.

Pagod na akong ngumiti kahit di na ako masaya.

Pagod na akong makitawa kahit ang to too gusto ko ng lumuha.

Pagod na akong magpanggap na OK lang kahit sa totoo lang hindi naman.

Pagod na akong magpanggap na di apektado kaya naman pasensya na.

Pero napagdesisyonan ko na. 

Ititigil ko na ang lahat.

Mahal kita ngunit ayaw ko na.

Mahal kita ngunit nakakapagod na.

Mahal kita ngunit sobra na.

Mahal kita ngunit mahirap na.

Ang hirap lalo’t may mahal ka namang iba.

Kaya naman pasensya na bes ha.

PERO HINDI NA AKO MAGIGING DATING AKO.