I am guilty

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 Imagine your girlfriend taking photographs of you, not selfies, not “outfit of the day”, no Instagram bullshit. Actual photos. When you wake up, when you look at her, when you’re making love, when you’re cooking, when you’re taking a shower. Imagine if your girlfriend did that. This is a person who loves creating a visual documentation of the person she loves. You would cry at every picture she took because you know it’ll be purer than any other visual representation of yourself.

But i came to an end.. being neglected cheated his just a past.. 

alone

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 Alone is a state of being; loneliness is a feeling. You have no problem being alone, because you don’t feel lonely while doing so. You have your moments when you feel lonely, everyone does, but they don’t have to happen when you’re physically alone. We all know it’s possible to feel lonely in a room full of people, which is why it’s wrong to assume that the people who enjoy being alone the most, are the loneliest.

nature

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 When you connect with nature, something within you comes alive. I think this is because you connect with deeper parts of yourself and maybe that’s beautiful. To know that we are never fixed to one place, one space, one spot on this earth. To know that the very nature of things is to be lost and out of place—learning to begin again. So maybe it’s okay that I don’t have the right words for all the darkness that is spinning wildly around me because despite my tongue-tied mouth, there is still so much beauty.
rp

Ladies, This Is The Only Thing You Should Do When A Guy Doesn’t Text Back.

Repost credit to elite

OK, so he said he wanted to make plans this weekend. It’s Friday, you haven’t heard anything from him, but you don’t want to make plans and then have him call. You text him, “Hey, did you still want to get together and do something tonight?” An hour goes by, nothing. What do you do?

Casual double text? Accidental text? Call him? Stop what you’re doing. Put the phone down. No, really. Put it down. I’ll tell you what to do ladies: Nothing. Not a thing.

First of all, this man should be coming after you. If this man is into you, then trust me, he will get a hold of you. If a guy really likes you, is super excited about hanging out with you, has bragged to all of his friends about you and treats you well, guess what? That guy is going to text you to ask you out again, or just to see how your day was. Chivalry is not dead.

If a guy isn’t texting you back, do not — I repeat, do not — freak out and think of 100 possible things he could be doing right now. Don’t wonder who he’s with, why he doesn’t want to answer you, etc. These mind games are anxiety-inducing, and they are a waste of your time.

He’s probably not answering you because he fell asleep on his Xbox controller with his hand in a bag of Doritos again. It really isn’t as serious as you think (most of the time). And if the man is getting it on with someone else and that’s the reason he’s not answering you, then get out of here. Boy, bye.

Why would you want a man like that? You don’t. This is a big world, and sometimes it’s hard to see the endless possibilities it offers when you’re so wrapped up in a person. I promise you, there will be other men. There are plenty of men out there who are willing to treat you right and answer a damn text every once in a while.

If this is the beginning of a new thing, and you’re not sure what the “terms” are, then the same rules apply. Even if you guys are just getting to know each other and hanging out, if he has interest in you, he should be going after you.

Don’t play games. They’re dumb and will get you nowhere. Don’t wait three hours to text him back just because he took three hours to answer you. That is also dumb. Be straightforward about what you want, and you are more likely to get it than if you beat around the bush.

It also drives a man crazy (in a good way) when he has to chase a woman. Men always want what they can’t have. The more unavailable you seem, the more desirable you are to them. Ladies, you don’t need to be throwing yourself at guys. Don’t make it easy for them. Make them work for it, as they should.

Unfortunately for me, I had to learn this by living through it myself. So trust me when I say if a guy wants you, he’ll come after you. He’s going to be pull out all the stops for you because he wants to show you his best side in hopes that maybe, if he’s lucky, he will be good enough for you.

Ladies, everyone deserves to meet a guy who is going to pull out all the stops for her. Don’t try to make excuses for him. Trust me, I know. I convinced myself he just wasn’t good at texting, wasn’t into romantic gestures or just had a really busy lifestyle. But the truth is, if a guy wants something or wants to spend time with someone, he will make time for it in his life regardless of how busy he is.

Usually, what you see is what you get. It really is that simple. If you have a sketchy feeling about a guy, ditch him. Stop putting his feelings above your own. Stop thinking about his body and his pleasure, and think about your own.

If he wants you, he’ll come and get you. And if he doesn’t, then drop him. Because in the end, you don’t want to be stuck with an assh*le who doesn’t treat you as his number one. You want a significant other you can communicate with, in a relationship rooted in mutual respect. F*ckboys will only get you so far.

Find someone who treats you the way you deserve and answers your freaking texts. Remember: If he’s not texting you back, do nothing. Personally, I say don’t even text him in the first place. Make the boys come to you, girlfriend.

By: amanda katherine

difference between a player and a forever man

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 “A player is going to do everything in his power to make you feel comfortable with him until the very moment he realizes that you aren’t exactly his cup of tea.”

 Always be wary of a player. He will do everything he possibly can to set himself apart from the rest. He will be irresistibly attractive, and he will do everything in his power to win over the affections of a girl. He will make subtle gestures with his hands, he will send out provocative signals with his eyes. He will definitely stand out from the crowd and he will do his best to make you notice him.

 A player will be a perfect gentleman when you are first starting out. He will meticulously plan out the best and most exciting dates with you. He will offer to pay the bill. He will do everything to uphold the principles of chivalry and the gentleman culture. He will never walk ahead of you. He will walk beside you and hold your hand if you let him. He will hold the door open for you, and he will offer you his jacket when you’re cold. He will tell you that you are an amazing person and that you have captivated him in ways that no one ever has. He will deliver his romantic declarations in such believable manners. You will end up falling head over heels for him as well. He will shower you with the grandest compliments and the most outrageous promises. The worst part is that you are actually going to believe him. That is your first mistake.

 You will end up developing a deep connection with him. You will start becoming more comfortable with him and you willingly open yourself up more. You find yourself thinking about him over and over again throughout long stretches of the day. He manages to give you those butterflies in the stomach. He will make you fly as high as a kite. He will make you feel like you can actually touch the clouds. You will find great elation at the idea of finally finding someone who treats you in the way that you’ve always wanted to be treated. You will finally get a chance to be with the man of your dreams; only now, he’s the man of your real life. You will trust him with all of your heart, and you feel like he would never betray you.

 Things will all be fine and dandy. Things will always be flowing smoothly… until they don’t anymore. He will change, and you better believe it. It will all come crashing down at the blink of an eye and there’s nothing you can do to stop the emotional avalanche that you are about to experience.

 A player is going to do everything in his power to make you feel comfortable with him until the very moment he realizes that you aren’t exactly his cup of tea. He will make you feel loads of happiness and joy until he discovers that he no longer finds happiness in you. He will wine and dine you. He will court and swoon you. He will do all things right by you until he comes to the realization that you just aren’t worth it anymore. A player will get into a relationship out of his own personal selfish desires. This is also the same manner in which he will end and exit relationships. He will have no regard for the devastation that will fall upon you. A player will shy away from a commitment with anyone because they are only committed to themselves.

 On the other side of the spectrum, there are the forever kind of boys. These forever boys aren’t going to be as flashy or as elaborate as their player counterparts. They will be more subtle in their approach. They are wallflowers who like to observe before they act. They will be shy, and they tend to stray away from the limelight. He won’t be grand with his romantic declarations, nor will he be ostentatious with his gestures. He isn’t pretentious, and he really doesn’t expect anything in return. He isn’t the type of guy who is immediately going to get everything right the first time. He will be awkward, and he won’t know what to do for the most part. He will be acting on impulse and he will let his feelings guide his way into your heart. He will let emotions take over, and he will surrender himself to what he feels for you.

 You will hesitate at first because the forever boy will be a new phenomenon to you. At the moment, you will be guarded and hesitant. You don’t want to dive into anything just yet because of what the player did to you. You don’t want to open yourself up to emotional manipulation anymore, and you don’t want to get hurt.

 However, little by little, the forever boy will claw his way into the center of your heart. He won’t do it rapidly over a short period of time. He will wait for you. He will express his patience because he knows that you’re worth it. He’s not sure that you would ever consider him, but he knows that you’re worth the risk of getting hurt. He is the one who will treat you the way you’ve always deserved to be treated, but not necessarily the way that you thought.

 Most importantly, the forever boy is the one who is going to hold your hand and never let go.

move on

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 You’re Not Going To Be Able To move On If You Keep Looking Back

 People always say that time is eventually going to heal all wounds. But that just isn’t always going to be the case. The actual truth is that there are just some wounds that time can’t heal. Of course, when you are forced to end things with a person you’re deeply in love with, it’s going to leave a substantial emotional scar. You might now know how to deal with it at first, but your initial instinct is to always distance yourself from any reminders of the very person that you lost. But it’s not always going to be so simple. You have to understand that in order for you to really move on in life, you need to actually want to do so. You really have to want to let go of the past. Of course, it’s perfectly acceptable behavior if you wish to cling to some remnants of your failed romance. That’s the nostalgia in you that’s starting to kick in. all human beings are susceptible to that kind of behavior. So don’t worry that you wallow in pain and despair just after you end a relationship with someone. Healing takes time, that’s true. But don’t you dare think that time alone is going to heal your wounds. You have to play an active role in the healing process. You have to actually decide that you want to get better. It all starts with you actually wanting to be whole again.

 And you don’t have to pressure yourself into rushing to become okay again. No one expects this to be a speedy process for you. You’ve practically lost a person who meant the world to you. You invested so much of yourself in this person and in this relationship; and unfortunately, things didn’t go your way. It was a failed investment. And you lost a part of yourself that you’re probably never going to get back. You’re not going to be able to turn your sadness off like a light switch. The world doesn’t expect you to be fine right away. You’ve gone through a very emotionally traumatizing experience – and that takes a great deal of time to recover from.

 You can’t afford to just bury your emotions either. You can’t just sweep your feelings under a rug and hope that they eventually go away. Pain doesn’t work like that. Healing doesn’t work like hat. When you feel pain and sadness, you really have to let it consume you. You have to let it have its way with you. It’s part of being human. Be vulnerable and let the sadness come. Accept it. Confront it. Deal with it. Acknowledge its current power over you but also keep in mind that you are eventually going to rise from all of this adversity. You can’t just go on pretending like you’re okay even when you know that you’re not. Your bad feelings are never going to go away until you actually become brave enough to force them out.

 So yes, be sad. Be weak and vulnerable for now. But also remember – and this is very important – you are going to have to pick yourself up after a while. You are eventually going to have to muster the strength to fight towards a place of happiness again. You have to actually develop the resolve to rise up from the ashes like a phoenix. It’s not going to be easy – and you might not even be able to do it on your own. But what’s important is that you actually believe that someday, you are going to be okay again. Your faith and belief in yourself should be what guides and helps you through this terrible ordeal.

 Accept that the past has happened and hat it’s gone. There’s no point in wanting to resurface the past again. There’s no point in wishing to get back something that’s lost forever. You are only prolonging your pain with this kind of thinking. You are only making things worse for yourself. Don’t let go of the lessons of the past, but always keep your eyes towards the future. And that’s the real key to just moving on right there.

 You just have to stop yourself from looking back. You’re not going to be able to get to where you want to go if you just keep on peeking behind your shoulder. If you really want to be okay again, you have to keep your head down and your eyes forward. You need to always keep on pushing forward. Be confident that the past is going to stay where it is. And trust in the strength of your legs to propel you forward. Moving on isn’t about just moving forward – it’s also about letting go of everything that used to be.

change your ways

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 When you become rude and arrogant and behave badly towards the people around you, even the ones who love you most will start to leave you… Every person wants to be respected and admired by the people they love – especially your parents… They are the ones who brought you into this world and made you who you are today… Even though they love you more than anything in the world – if you keep shouting at them or fighting with them for unknown or unjust reasons, they will distance themselves from you and leave you alone. No matter how old we become, we will always have a need for our parent’s advice. We need our parents in our life, even once we’ve grown up into adults ourselves and they deserve to be respected and loved… If there are things about them you feel they need to change – talk to them about it like an adult – but don’t take their love for granted… You never know when they might just have had enough and decide to leave you to your own devices… Arrogance is just as destructive as anger in a relationship, and if you want to achieve great things in life you’ll need to learn to be polite and loveable to make your way to the top… As the old saying goes, it is the straightest trees that are cut first… But if you keep fighting with your family… if you’re known to be rude and arrogant… your reputation will precede you and no one will stand beside you or support you in life. In time, everyone will leave you and there’s nothing in this world that can take a parent’s place… No one can love you more than your own family… so learn to love and respect their concern for you before it’s too late

you should give up

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 You Need To Give Up On The Man Who Doesn’t Want To Be With You
 The truth is that you just deserve better.

 You are strong and you are brave. You put yourself out there and you make yourself vulnerable. You know you are opening yourself up to potentially getting hurt but you don’t care. You know that that’s something you have to do for you to find the love that you feel you are deserving of. You are patient and you are understanding. You know that no one is perfect and not everyone is always going to treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. And when people wrong you, you try to empathize instead of acting out. You try to forgive instead of being vengeful. You try your best to make a relationship work with a man even if he’s bad for you because you are just too stubborn to let go of whatever it is you have with one another.

 And that’s good. You shouldn’t be willing to throw things away so easily. You always have to make sure that you work your absolute hardest just to keep the people you love close to you. You always have to put maximum effort in your relationships – and that means staying strong even when it’s difficult. That means you actually staying committed to one another even when it’s inconvenient to do so. But you also have to acknowledge that there are limits to everything and to everyone. We can only try so hard to make something work before everything else starts collapsing on us. There is a sticking point in every relationship – where after all efforts have been exhausted, and it’s time to just walk away. It’s time to just move on. It’s time to move on from the man who just plain doesn’t want to be with you.

 You have to think that there is only really so much of yourself that you can give to another person. And you have to consider everything that you’ve already given this man. You have to take into consideration just how many pieces of your heart you’ve given away to someone who doesn’t really want any of it. You have to stop giving so much of yourself to someone who isn’t willing to reciprocate the gesture.

 The truth is that you just deserve better. The love that you deserve is something that you have to continually search and fight for – but you have to know that it’s really not with this person. You might not be able to believe that there’s a man out there who is better for you. You might not think that you could ever fall for someone who could be as great as this guy now – but you will. You just have to have faith in yourself and in love.

 The longer that you stay with him, the more that you deprive yourself of actually finding that love you so desperately want for yourself. You can’t afford to let yourself get tied down to this person who just seems incapable of giving you what you want. At the end of the day, the longer that you cling to this guy, then you are also essentially closing yourself off from other opportunities. You are depriving yourself of the chance of meeting a guy who is actually going to treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. Because you just can’t make space for someone new unless you learn to let go of the man who occupies your heart now.

 It’s draining and it’s exhausting. This manner of going about life just isn’t sustainable. You aren’t going to be able to keep going on like this. You are breaking your heart more and more every day. Every second that you decide to not let go, you are just chipping away at your soul. You don’t want to wait around and see what happens when there’s practically nothing left to chip away from. You don’t want it to get to that point and that’s why it’s important for you to just end things now.

 And while it can be difficult to let go for now, just be confident in the fact that all of the lessons that you’re learning for yourself at this moment are going to help you in the long run. One of the major factors of not wanting to let go is thinking that all efforts you’ve invested will have been for nothing. But you shouldn’t be thinking of it like that. Think of this temporary setback with this man as a necessary step for you to have taken to really find the love that you want for yourself. You just have to make sure that in your process of letting go and moving on, you take all the lessons with you so that you don’t make the same mistakes anymore with the guy you’re destined to be with.

 So keep holding on to that belief in love. Don’t be afraid to move on. Let go. Release. Detach.

Merry Christmas everyone! 

10 signs you’re forcing yourself to love someone

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 “Love is an untamed force. When we try to control it, it destroys us. When we try to imprison it, it enslaves us. When we try to understand it, it leaves us feeling lost and confused.”

– Paulo Coelho
 It is good to have hope even in the most trying of circumstances. When you’re going through a rough patch in your relationship, hope can be like ray of sunshine peeping through dark and stormy clouds. But it is important to differentiate between a rough patch and a relationship that does not leave the pits of darkness.

 During such times, we try our best to understand our partner, and keep the relationship going. All the while not realising that what we’re actually doing is forcing ourselves to love someone who doesn’t want to be loved. Sometimes it’s best to let go. Here are 10 signs that indicate you’re forcing love where there is none.

 1. You have to work hard at persuasion

 There is no harm in having excellent persuasion skills. In fact, I encourage it. Similarly, having a reward based system is great too if that’s what works for you. “You do the dishes,” you tell him, “I’ll treat you in ways beyond your imagination in the bedroom.” But when you are constantly having to make an inordinate amount of effort to persuade someone to do something that shouldn’t require such effort, then something is not quite right. Having to bend over backwards just to gain someone’s approval, threatening someone in order to get them to comply, and growing accustomed to rejection are all indicative of a relationship that’s being forced.

 2. You make all the compromises

 You generally do what he/she likes, you go out when he/she likes, you even work your career around his/her needs. You are so used to hearing ‘no’ for most things, you’ve grown weary of even thinking of what you would like to do. Sacrificing your happiness has become the norm in your relationship. You even quit hanging out with your friends because he/she does not approve. Perhaps he/she is jealous, perhaps insecure, but you’re slowly having to give your happiness up bit by bit and compromise on everything that is important to you to keep your relationship afloat.

 3. Drama

 There is a drama each time you do something that your partner does not approve of. It could even be the most trifling of matters, such as meeting up with an old friend. But your partner may build it up to a crisis and construct a story around it, that by the end of the entire argument you feel like he/she has built a brick wall around themselves that you find virtually impenetrable. And taking decisions in the future, whether or not pertaining to your relationship, has you feeling absurdly anxious.

 4. You make all the plans…alone

  It isn’t unusual to be so busy with work that one doesn’t find time to make plans. But when your partner is rarely, if ever, making plans with you, whether it is to pick a day for your next date, or make reservations, then that is not the sign of a healthy relationship. Making plans has simply been relegated to your shoulder…each time. And when you do make them by yourself, often he/she accepts, and other times just declines, and you know deep down you don’t have a good feeling about it.

 5. Your heart is constantly broken

 Giving all of yourself to someone is easier said than done. Plenty of us tend to hold back just a little. But when you do finally give it your all in a relationship, your expectations usually rise simultaneously. You’re human after all. And when that trust is made light of, and your worth disregarded is when you know that you are simply compelling yourself to drag the relationship further.

 6. You are having to conform

 Conforming yourself to fit the standards set by your partner is a recipe for a relationship not meant to be. It’s better to lose someone who wishes you to change for him/her, than to continue to force yourself to love someone while slowly losing bits of yourself over him/her. Trying to be someone you’re not in order to please another human being would eventually leave you with identity issues, a mass of regrets, and an exorbitant sum for the therapist’s bill.

 7. You obsess over the past

 In a relationship where he/she doesn’t love you, and you’re forcing yourself to love him/her, it isn’t uncommon to find yourself woolgathering. More than likely the subject of your ruminations and obsessions are the days gone by. When your relationship was better and he/she gave a stronger impression of love and things seemed easier. But you can’t continue to live in the past.

 8. You have to constantly ask how he/she feels

 I recall with striking precision the agony of never knowing how he felt. He had all but ceased to initiate conversations, and it had fallen to me to break the ice every now and then. When you have to try that hard just to get someone to open up, and your relationship becomes a burden to either one or both of you, then it’s better to let go.

 9. You don’t talk about the future

 You never discuss your plans for the future. It’s almost like some sort of a taboo subject. Sure, you’re thinking about it, but he/she never speaks in terms of ‘we’ and ‘us’. It is always what he/she wants out of their life. You never seem part of the equation.

 10. Confrontations are avoided

 Confrontations are treated like a disease. Something to be steered clear of, and never faced head on. When someone repeatedly treats the relationship in such a manner, he/she does not have the depth of feelings for you that you wish they did, and continuing to remain in such a stagnant relationship would not bring either of you any happiness in the long run.

3 Things You Should Never Say To Your Man If You Don’t Want To Lose Him Forever

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 The male brain isn’t as complicated as you think. In fact, he’s going to be very simple-minded. He’s not going to demand a whole lot of things from you. He isn’t going to put too much meaning into things and he isn’t going to read too much into various situations. But the problem with men is that they’re never going to be expressive about their emotions or their expectations in the relationship. They won’t want to put themselves in the vulnerable position of having to open up to you. And so you are left to play mind reader a lot of the time.

 Of course, you always have to be mindful and sensitive of whatever you say to your man. He most likely is not going to tell you that you’re upsetting him when you say something rude or insensitive. He isn’t going to tell you when a comment is hurtful. He is going to keep it to himself and his feelings will eventually build up to the point of destruction. So you should never let it get to that point. While every relationship is unique, there are some basic universal concepts that you should always adhere to when it comes to communication.

  Communication is always important in any relationship, but there is constructive communication and there is destructive communication. It all depends on the kinds of things that you are going to choose to talk about. Make sure that you stay away from destructive points of communication so as not to upset your man. If you keep making the mistake of continuing to bring up these unacceptable talking points, then you are going to risk losing your man forever. Here are a few things that you should never tell your man if you want to continue to keep him in your life.

 1. You should never actively bring up your exes during your conversations.

 

 The general rule of thumb is this: unless your man asks you about your romantic history, you should never bring it up. Make it a point to never deliberately bring up the subject of your exes during your conversations. He doesn’t want to hear about how handsome your ex used to be. He doesn’t want to hear about how your ex was great in bed or how he had a nice personality. In fact, he doesn’t even want to hear about how horrible or toxic your ex was. Even negative comments about your ex are a big no-no. The fact of the matter is that he just doesn’t want to hear about your ex at all. If you bring up your ex out of the blue, he is going to start wondering why your ex is still on your mind in the first place. Don’t give him that insecurity.

 2. You should never make any punitive comments that would bruise his ego or diminish his manhood.

 A man’s ego is his entire life. He will always pride himself on his personality and his abilities to take care of himself and the people he loves the most. Yes, he is going to be prone to a lot of mistakes as all human beings are, but he isn’t going to handle failure as well as women do. Men have very fragile egos and it doesn’t take a lot to bring them down. Even the slightest mistake will be enough to bring about a lot of insecurity in them.

 That’s why it’s important for you to never kick him while he is down. If you notice that your man is going through a slump, try building him up into something better. Don’t ever make any harsh comments or make him feel worse than he already is. A man needs support, not a lecture. If he sees that you can’t be supportive of him during the toughest times of his life, then he isn’t going to want you to be there when he’s at his best either.

 3. You should never say anything bad about his mother.

 A real man’s mother is his whole life. Before he decides to make you the most important woman in his life, his mother is always going to be on top. He is going to regard his mother as a queen and you always have to remember that. The moment that you decide to say anything negative about his mother, he is going to want nothing to do with you. A man is always going to show appreciation for the woman who raised him and made him into who he is now. So whenever you decide to attack the most important person in his life, perhaps you should rethink it. No one is going to win in this situation and you will be unintentionally initiating the premature demise of your relationship.